M'j Oynsaisnee ! 



Watkikj ^raimDle Cutler's 

OF A [V^MDESCE IS AMERICA, 

mdist perfof mitt(j a profitable iheutricat Engage- 
me III : beating the nonsem'ical 

•FA.^i\¥ MEMBLl^ JOUIrir¥Ali 
ALL HOLLOW!!! 



Copyright secured, in conformity with an act of Congress* 



PaiLADBLPlilA; 

; Publisbed to Purchase for the Authoress a 

being aboxtt to honor 
Uirii HBil HIND IN WEDLOCK. 



mmm Pub! 



TANXV TIII.MBLE IX UAl.riMORE. 




A door siidd(-nly opened in one of the large 
bouses, and splash came a big bowl of water 
in my lace.— Ptfrjre 28. 



MY CONSCIENCE! 



FANNY THIMBLE CUTLER'S 
JTOURMAI. 

OF A 

RESIDENCE IN AMERICA^ 

^^' to^flst })erforminfl a 

PROFITABLE THEATRICAL ENGAGEMENT: 
BEATING THE NONSENSICAL 

FA]V]\ir KiiinBiif: journai- 

ALL HOLLOW!!! 



,Cop2/ Right secured according to Law, 

PUBLISHED TO PURCHASE FOR THE AUTHORESS 
BEING ABOUT TO HONOR 

FIERCE CUTLER, ESQ. 

WITH HER HAND IN WEDLOCK. 

1835 






z 



Entered aceording to the Act of Congress, in the year 1835, 
by Alexander Turnbull, in the Clerk's Office of the 
District Court; in and for the Eastern District of Fennsylva- 
iua« 






.*v 



jroiJRNAl., 



Wednesday, Sept. bth. 
New York, America. 
Myconcience! who'd have thought it; there, 
it is written, I am Fanny Thimble, and no one 
else; this is my big toe and as I live, it has grown 
a crop of corns since I got on board ship. Here 
is New York, the little Lunnun, by my faith; 
andit is no other place. Monstrous change! but 
I must get out of my berth or I will loose my 
breakfast. As I live there is that gouty old fellow 

B peeping through the half shut bhnds of my 

state room door; I wish Pa would catch him 
there, the good for nothing, worn out, gouty old 
wretch. Ah, he has taken the hint and vanished. 
Eat breakfast for the last time on board our good 
ship Warrior ; swallowed six muffins, seven eggs 
and eight cups of coffee to keep the damp out of 
my stomach, for it is a real Liverpool day. Cold 
gray clouds, tipped with rose pink and a slight 
touch of indigo, hovered over us as we got on 
board of the steamer which landed us in an hour 
on the wharf at New York and for the first time 
1 soiled my pretty English shoes with Yankee 
dirt. The wharf was ciowded by men, women 
and boys who gave three cheers for Fanny Thim- 



ble and followed us in a mob to our Hotel which 
was situated in their most lasliionable street cal- 
led Broadway though it is very narrow and filthy. 
The women ] saw seemed as if dressed out at an 
old Jew's shop in the strand; — tawdriness was 
the only thing remarkable about them save their 
flat noses, big feet and black and rotten teeth. 
1 was glad to get into the Hotel from the gaze 
of the crowd, and my dear papa might have felt 
glad too, for in the long hall of the "Tavern, he 
was welcomed by the Mayor, Judges, and City 
Authorities, and by scores of Generals, Colonels, 
Majors, Captains, &c. &c., who presented him in 
the name of the corporation with a valuable gold 
snuff box for having honored their City so high- 
ly as to bring his dear daughter, myself, across 
the salt pond to shew them what they never saw 
before, pretty acting by a pretty Lunnun gal. 
Dined at three; dinner tolerable — wine passable, 
brandy so, so ; desert abominable, nothing but 
peaches grapes, plums, cantelopes and watermel- 
lons, with maggoty cheese and sour bread, was 
showed to my bed chamber; the window blinds 
being shut it was quite dark and on asking the 
chambermaid what crackled so under my i'ect, 
(just like torpedoes) she said she calculated it 
was the bugs trying to get out, as no one had 
slept there for the last month, when she opened 
the window, sure enough there they scamper- 
ed as thick as fruit in plumb pudding, and I 
found I had killed my thousands, not with the 
jaw bone of an ass but with the delicate feet of 
anlEnglish beauty. Had the room swept and 
put to rights, my dear papa saw after his own 
comfort and went to the Theatre in the eve- 



mng with Colonel poor lonesome I; — stitched 

and drank wine till ten, then turned into bed, a 
little " how come you so," and dreamt of home, 
mother Thimble, and all the little Thimbles. 



Thursday, mh, 

1 have been in the tantrums greatest part of 
Ihe day owing to the numerous visitors I had to 
receive. Dressed as Lady Teazle, I sat at the 
end of the long hall on a kind of raised platform 
or throne, over and around which was suspended 
rich crimson and blue drapery. The chair I sat 
in was made of mahogany, and splendidly gilt; 
in fact, I felt for awhile, as though I was in reality 
some great royal personage, — an empress, or 
queen at least. Each side of me stood six hand- 
somely dressed ladies, and the visitors were in- 
troduced by four elegant alderman, dressed in 
small clothes, chapeaux and sword. In the cen- 
tre of the ball, from top to bottom, about lOO 
armed volunteers were stationed with fixed bayo- 
nets to keep order. Those who were honoured 
by*a shake of my hand proceeded up the righ 
side of the passage, and having given their sa- 
lute, passed down the left side of the military 
and left the house to make room for others; — 
there could not have been less than 500,000 men, 
boys, girls, old maids, widows and wives, who 
partook of a squeeze of my hand, which feels the 
excessive pressure of an old drunken blacksmith V 
grip till now. J was careful to wear gloves, 
lest I might catch the itch, which they tell me \s 
very common here. Some of the people kneeled 
iio me and kissed my shoes, whilst others laid 



offerings of strings of pearl, gold rings, broaclies, 
bouquets of flowers, &c. at my feet, and many 
a good looking fellow called me an angel. The 
Governor opened the ceremony, having come all 
the way from Albany for the purpose. After 
kneeling, blowing his nose, and kissing my hand, 
he made the following delightful poetical speech : 

like Buttermilk, tliy face is fair; 

Like IMammoth's bones, thy talents rare ; 
To tliis great land I welcome thee* 

Angel or maid which e'er thou be. 

After the ceremony, I had to drink toast in 
punch, and actually got so far '' how come you 
so," as to hug and kiss the old Governor, and 
play some droll tricks, till my dear, dear papa, 
who no doubt was merry himself, had me put to 
bed. I awoke about daylight, had a glass of 
julip in bed, and slept again 'till eight; when 

Colonel called and helped me to lace my 

stays. Kind soul, I don't know what I would 
do without him. Breakfasted at nine; eat a 
wild duck and forty buckwheat cakes; took an- 
other julip, and dressed, with the Colonel's assist- 
ance, for a ride to the Five Points. 



Friday, 1th. 
Breakfasted at nine; the Colonel called at ten 
with an open barouche, and we set off for that 
pleasant resort of the fashionables, (the Five 
Points); on arriving in its neighbourhood, we 
were struck with the change of appearance of the 
ladies from those promenading or residing in the 



liltljy Broadway. Here all displayed a careless 
kind of negligee, and wore loose and airish 
dresses, whilst many of the most beautiful were 
seen taking their gin bitters in the different houses 
of entertainment with which this little earthly 
paradise abounds. Few men could be seen, as 
we were informed it was not considered polite, or 
genteel for them to promenade in that quarter till 
night, when hundreds of the elite poured forth 
the soft and seducing tale of love into the ears of 
the innocent and credulous virgins of the Points, 
When we were about leaving this consecrated 
spot of love, beauty and fashion, we were hurra'd 
and cheered to the skies. 

"Kerchiefs waved ; shawls floated in the air. 
And plaudits came from voices rich and rare." 

Arrived at our hotel at eleven ; was introduced 

to a young Philadelphian, Mr. Fierce C ; he 

was civil spoken, somewhat quakerish, but my 
dear, dear papa says he is worth a plumb,— and 
a goose that may be easily caught. By my troth 
we shall see ; a plum is not to be had every day. 
He dines with us at five, -I'll appear at table 
as Rosalie Summers before she sees Plastic. 
As 1 live, I forgot my julip; must ring for it. 
Must make my first appearance on Monday; 
'twill soon come, and 1 really dread to face these 
v)\e Yankees. D— n them, as the critic says, 
who cares for, 

IMerchants, butchers, tailors nimble, — 
They must adore sweet Fanny Thimble. 



s 

Saturday, lotL 
Qucwrelled with my maid— paid her, and told 
her I had no further use for her. She called me a 
lazy slut, and said if the people knew as much 
about me as she did, I would be hissed off the 
stage on my iirst appearance. What could she 
know about me din ing a three day's engagement.? 
— ray blood boiled within me, and I threw my 
shoe at her; when — oh, impudence most vile — • 
she flew at me and boxed my ears till they fairly 
rang with pain, telling me I had got the wrong- 
sow by the ear; hired girls were free and inde- 
pendent, and she would have her rights and de- 
fend herself from insult though she died for itj 
then with a sarcastic grin, she made a low curt- 
sey, bid me good morning, and hoped that the 
ears of the sweet, dear, delightful Fanny, would 
be cooled by Monday night, as the medicine she 
had a<lministered was a sovereign remedy for up- 
start impudence in an employer. I was about to 
faint with rage, when the punctual black waiter 
entered with my 11 o'clock mint julip. Julip! — 
^vhat rich associations of thought lie concentrated 
in that little w ord ; if you are drowsy or squeam- 
ish in the morning, take a mint julip, and you 
will soon feel revived and refreshed; if you are 
sad or gloomy, a julip will restore you to cheer- 
fulness; and if angered, a good strong one will 
put you, as mine did, in a most conscrumptuous 
good humour. Five o'clock, took a coach, and 

proceeded to the house of Mr. the leader of 

good society in New York, where we dine, and 
where 1 expect to see all the customs of the high- 
est rank. By six o'clock, the company had all 
arrived, and we were ushered into the dining- 



room. The ladies in general had bad figures 
and horrid dark complexion, the gentlemen were 
more passable. I had the honour of drinking 
two or three glasses of wine with the young 
Philadelphian, (I think I have him by the shirt 
already) who sat directly opposite me, and who 
seemed to neglect every body else to wait on my 
wants. After dinner,' instead of finger glasses 
being placed on the table to rinse the mouth and 
hands with, a stout negro went round the table,, 
and with a sponge dipped in whisey and water, 
wiped the face and hands of each of the guests, 
whilst another with a coarse towel followed him 
to dry the parts thus moistened with the sponge. 
Papa says they "do just so" where he gets 
shaved. Apropos, now I think of it, our host 
was once a hair dresser, but by good luck rose 
to opulence, having turned merchant; perhaps 
he practices the sponging system to remind him 
of old times. The ladies retired from the table 
on the introduction of a large wash tub of punch 
— the men sat till they all got snoozed, pa, as well 
as the rest, except my new admirer, who followed 
me from the table and would not let me rest till 
I sang him a sweet song, as he said, llemem- 
bering one that my Grub Street writer had com- 
posed for me, I told my i\donis I would sing him 
an extempore one; "O, that must be an Italian 
one," said he. I laughed at his ignorance of the 
word extempore, — told him it was plain English 
right offhand composition, and should contain a 
compliment to him. He thanked me, sighed, 
and J struck the v.ires of the ill-toned out-ot-tnne 
piano; and by altering a few words in the old 
song, made him swallow it as new: 



10 

You sigh, and sadly look, my love. 

Your spirit's in a mist. 
The cause I'll freely tell you, love. 

If you will deign to list. 

You eat too many flitters, love. 

And dumplings piping hot. 
In that vile dish of soup, my love. 

You here call pepperpot. 

You've thrown your heart away, my love. 

At foot of foreign maid, 
Who plays the lover well, my love. 

But is a flirting jade. 

But as you're easy pleas'd, my love. 

Like gentle butterfly ; 
"When she has fairly teaz'd you, love. 

Your wife she'll be — bine by, 

*' Exquisite," he exclaimed when I ended, 
and hoping the last verse might prove true to 
him; he assisted nie to rise and accompanied ns 
home. Yes, after some months of teasing, I'll 
take the Fierce Cutler under my charge and have 
a husband, — rule a husband, singing 

I'll be a butterfly 

Married to wealth, 
And drink julip when I'm dry 

To keep me in health. 



Monday, IQth. 
Breakfasted at nine ; after that went to work 
stitching as though my life depended on the 
quantity I sewed. Elevten o'clock, took two julips, 
went to the theatre and rehearsed Fazio. Mr. 
Skippel the wliite washed and plaistered man 



11 

who failed in Covent Garden, in playing Romeo 
to my Juliet, is to be my Fazio. He knows not 
a word of his part, and is as nervous as a young 
bride on her wedding night. 1 wish he would 
go juliping for an hour or two ; I'll get pa to 
advise him to the measure. Went home dis- 
gusted with the theatre and all the company. 
The building, I mean the Park, is not near so 
large as some of the barns the strollers enact in, 
in England, and the stock company of performers 
are not so good as those who follow the train of 
a mountebank doctor. The Colonel called and 
found me in the dumps; he recommended a glass 
of lemon punch, — it was brought, and after par- 
taking of the sweet and sour felt more lively. 
Dined at three, was asked if I would partake of 
a piece of possum — a rank, nasty creature which 
the Americans prize above all other dainties, but 
which, to my eye, looked more like the devil 
than food for Christians. Took tea at five — 
hurried my dresses into a band box, and started 
with pa for theatre. Took several good swigs of 
the julip of life, went on and was applauded for 
at least an hour; never heard such rapturous shouts 
in my life. My Fazio paid too much attention 
to my father's advice, and though he got through 
in tolerable descent style, he was actually drunk. 
When the curtain dropped at the end of the play, 
they gave me nine cheers, which cheered me af- 
ter the fatigue I underwent in showing them what 
acting was. Pa was so delighted with my recep- 
tion, that he had got rather " how come you so," 
and actually forced me to sing to him at twelve 
o'clock at nighty which I greatly gulped at. 



12 

Went out a shopping with ray negligee bonnet 
on ; in every store we visited, we found the coun- 
ter jumpers ready to bow down and worship me, 
and many a bargain I got from these lolloping 
chaps. Crikee, as 1 heard a gentleman say, 
what heavenly charm has fell upon me since 1 
arrived here, that every one, men, women and 
children seem to look on me as something above 
the ordinary beings of the day. I'll take advan- 
tage of their folly; quiz them, and after getting 
as much of their spare cash as will resuitatec pa's 
pockets, I'll laugh at them and enjoy my dear 
C's cash. 

In my sillcs and ray satins, 

I'll lounge all the day ; 
In the morn go to matins j 

At night to the play. 

Before night, hundreds of girls had on a fac 
simile of my negligee, which they christened 
Fanny Thimble Bonnet. Tlie negroes, as a 
mark of respect to me, were forbid wearing them 
by the magistrates, under the penalty of death. 



Spent last night in the most pleasant dreams; 
thought I was a mermaid and reigned in a coral 
palace over all the creatures that have their abode 
in the sea, — a train of water nymphs waited on 
me, and Jupiter tilled me with the nectar of the 
gods through the hollow tube of a sunbeam ; but 
it was nothing to compare with the taste or flavor 
of mintjulip with rose water in it. Breakfasted 
at nine, felt hungry, and punished a canvass back 



13 

dude and a pheasant, with about twenty muffins, 
and a dozen cups of coffee. Read the mornhig 
pa|)8rs, and found 1 had made a deep impression, 
— a decided hit. One rascally editor called me 
an angel of an actress; another scoundrel (they 
are in my opinion all villains,) said I v.as the 
most graceful and lovely being that ever trod the 
American boards, — swore my teeth were real 
pearl ; my lips coral ; my cheeks like the lovely 
cabbage rose ; (I verily believe he meant to say 
like red cabbage,) and my nose like the peak of 
I'eneriffe, looking down on every thing charming- 
below. Ha! ha! ha! I must send each of these 
poor devils a ten dollar bill, and they will doubt- 
less, after my next appearance, iind a higher title 
for me than even angel. Pa handed me a polite 
note from the proprietors of the " Bawk and 
Blizzard," one of the most respectable and highly 
patronized literary periodicals of the day, request- 
ing me to sit for my portrait; and requesting, 
as the greatest favour in the world, that I v/ould 
write sovj^ething for their next number. I told pa 
to tell them, that though my modesty bid me re- 
fuse their request, still to please them, and gratify 
the curious public, I would honour their dauber 
with- my angelic presence next day. As to writ- 
ing something for their work, I'll just look over 
my bundle of cut and dry prose and poetry; 
manufactured in Grub Street for the sole purpose 
of making me a literary character in America, 
where the people really believe that all who first 
breathe the breath of life in England, are born 
for poets, painters, actors or chimney sweeps. 
The piece beginning with this verse I think will 
do — it has a sadness about it that I like — (or, I 
meant to say, would wish folks to think I like.) 



14 



IVe cross'd o'er the ocean, 

Where fish were in motion. 
And waves roll'd as high as a crab-apple tree; 

I have curs'd the black cook 

For begreasing my book, 
And made the dark sinner bow low on his knee. 

Yet this world's very dreary. 

To me it is weary, 
O ! would to AppoUo life's chorus was done. 



Got up wrong side foremost — took an extra 
julip; eat fried oysters for breakfast, and then 
went stitching like the very devil. Went to re^' 
hearse at eleven. Came home quite tired, untied 
my frock strings, and threw myself carelessly 
and at my ease on the floor, and was soon asleep. 
During my nap heard a deep sigh, woke up and 
found my rich slave that is to be, standing at my 
feet, gazing with rapture on my person. 1 blushed; 
he looked confused, when in came my dark at- 
tendant with my julip, which soon restored me 
to tranquility; he sent for brandy cocktail, a 
compound as horrid in my opinion to the taste as 
the name is " to ears polite." Talked a great 
deal of small stuff; he dined with us, and ac- 
companies us to his native city to-morrow. If 
Philadelphia is as Quakerly as I am told it is, 
I shall certainly get ttie shakes, for 1 never could 
bear a broad brim hat or a half moon coat ; — 
nay by my troth I cannot. Took tea, and hur- 
ried off to the theatre. The house was crowded 
to excess ; and after the curtain went down, they 
set up the most boisterous clamour for the ap- 
pearance of me and my dear pa. Greedy heart- 
ed beings, not satisfied with our exertions in the 
play, they must have a speech from us. Well— ^ 
pa said something very short and very much mo- 



15 

lassified, 1 expect, for the poor Yankees hurraM 
and threw up their hats, and made the house 
shake with applause. The Yorkers are yielding 
beings, touch them in the right spot, and they 
will bend any way you like. Got to the Hotel, 
young C. ordered supper; talked, drank cham- 
paign, and ** packed up my tatters " till after 
twelve, when pa came home with his pockets 
full of money, and his head full of wine. Took 
charge of a thousand dollars, and put the old fel- 
low to bed ! Wishing to know from actual ex- 
periment what a wooer would find to talk about 
during a whole night's courtship, T invited Mr, 
C to spend the remainder of the darksome hours 
with me, to which he assented with a thousand 
smiles of joy brimming and sparkling o'er his 
flushed cheeks. A large bowl of Portwine san- 
garee was brought in, the door locked, and what 
with julip, acting, champaign and sangaree, I 
soon became locked in sleep, my head pillowed 
on C's bosom, and when I awoke I found I was 
fast locked in his arms, and he — silly lover — 
snoring awajj^ like a porpoise. Courting should 
be done in day-time, for as it is but a dull busi- 
ness, sleep is very apt to spoil all its arguments, 
and send love into oblivion. Heigh, ho; most 
time to go to steamboat. Good bye. New York. 



Left New York at six o'clock for Philadel- 
phia; feeling very dull and heavy, I threw my- 
self on the cabin floor, in hopes to sleep until 
breakfast time ; but was aroused in the course 
of an hour by something wet spattering on my 



16 

face: on looking u\>, found it proceeded from a 
coloured woman's child, who the mother was 
holding out from a berth above me. Got \\\) \n 
a blaze, told the woman she was an impudent 
devil for coming among whites, and was laughed 
at by a dozen or so ot" chambermaids who were 
strutting up and down the floor. One of them 
had the shocking barbarity, whilst I was wiping 
the smarting fluid from my eyes, to ask me if she 
should tell the waiter to bring the house cloth to 
wipe my face. J cursed her, liberty and equal- 
ity into the bargain, and then proceeded upon 
deck, which was literally crammed with blacks, 
laborers, and every thing vile in my English eyes. 
Told pa of the ladies' cabin scene, he laughed — 
told me never to mind it, the poor devil was only 
exhibiting the Cataract of the Ganges in minia- 
ture. My dear beau, who 1 really begin to feel 
a fancy for, invited me to a seat, which he pur- 
chased for a dollar from a negro girl that had oc- 
cupied it. I was glad to squat down, and I 
realy felt in a comparative Heaven, after drink- 
ing a delightful julip pa brought me from the 
bar. We were soon landed and placed in the 
rail road car, which it appears was arranged on 
purpose for our reception by the oflicers of the 
company, who had a flag on it bearing iny name. 
Pa, C, myself, and the president of the rail road 
managers took our seats, when a band behind 
struck up '* hail, beauteus maid," and the train 
moved otf in fine style for Camden. In our car 
all manner of refreshments were provided, and 
the president oft'ered his services to make julips, 
at which I found he was very expert, and as the 
day was a little cool I helped myself freely to 



17 

them. — Arrived at Camden, and was soon waft-- 
ed over the Delaware to the crowded, straight, 
iand filthy streets of Philadelphia. A triumphal 
arch was raised across Chesnut street wharf 
for us to walk under, and a coach and six await- 
ed our arrival, and imniediateiy carried us to 
Jonny Cox's, the first Hotel in the city ; situate 
at the corner of Small and Sixth streets. We 
were informed by the landlord that his vast es- 
tablishment was crowded by the members of the 
Bobolition Society, and after politely sending us 
out some delicious soused liver, and a large bowl 
of rot-gut, and another of white eye, he recom- 
mended us to the Mansion House, kept by one 
Mr Foot, a famous foot by the way it is in pro- 
viding for the body. Shown to a small room 
scarce large enough to turn round in, and felt al- 
most suft'ocated with the smell of coffee roasting, 
which opperation filled the house with smoke. — 
Changed my dress and met pa and Mr. C. in the 
parlour which was allotted to us, and which I 
xaus^t say, was tolerably passable. Took some 
ice cream, talked love to C for an hour or two, 
and after supper, which was excellent, I retired 
to rest» and slept soundly till eight next morning* 



After breakfast J pa told me to hurry in my dress- 
ing, as we were to be escorted to the navy yard 
to see the greatest ship in the world: and be 
received by the chief Burgess and councils of the 
city, together with distinguished Members of Con- 
gress, Judges, Aldermen, Justices of the Peace 
&c. At ten, being trigged out in my *' best bib 



18 

puB tucker" I heard the stirring- sounds of mar- 
tial music approaching our hotel, and soon saw 
the beautiful regiment that protects {he Governor 
from the savages that still abound round the seas' 
of Government of the state. They are called the 
** Hollow Gaurds" and are the finest looking 
set of fellows I have seen in America. Their 
Colonel, the renowned and war worn Pluck, 
came into our parlour, with his staff of field ofli- 
cers. He told us he was commanded to escort 
us to the navy yard. They were handed retresh- 
ments, and we soon entered a barouche drawn 
by an elephant, two lions, and sixty six cream 
colored horses, borrowed for the occasion from a 
small menagerie in the town. On arriving at the 
navy yard we were saluted with five hundred 
guns from the battery on the river. Arches 
wreathed with flowers were raised over the path- 
way, and a carpet of rich crimson velvet was 
spread from the gate to the deck of the Pensyl- 
vania. At the entrance of the yard we were re- 
ceived by the chief burgess and other dignitaries 
who conducted us to the Ship through a double 
line of upwards of five thousand marines. This 
ship is a gum sneezer, but one of our fiigates 
with a picked crew of Britsh Tars would soon I 
calculate, send her to Davy Jones' locker in the 
twinkling of a mosche^toe's eye. Partook of a 
handsome eolation; was conducted down the plat- 
form we had an hour ago ascended and proc<^ed- 
ingto the river were conveyed on board a large 
steam boat fall of flags and scrolls bearing my 
name in gold letters. We proceeded enlivened 
by a band of music, to the mouth of the romantic 
little creek called Schuylkill and after a short 



11> 

pas^sage were landed at Market street wharf, 
where taking a canal boat we were soon at that 
so much puffed up and talked about place called 
Fairmount from which they supply the city v;ith 
a quantity of muddy, nasty water; not tit for the 
stomach, unless filtered and julipized. Fair- 
mount consists of a little hill on which are built 
large tanks for receiving- the water, and distribu- 
ting- through the town by means of India rubber 
Ibose which are stretched along the gutters and 
kept in order by a multitude of ragged urc'iins 
who sell nuts and cakes and beer at the same 
time. Across the Schuylkill a mill dam is stretch 'd 
to obstruct the water and feed the pumps. An old 
wooden image of a woman spouts up water like 
a lemonader's fountain, and tv/o black geese, 
which they call swans, swim about in a couple 
of httle ponds . One view of the serpentine river 
in St. James park is worth a dozen such sights 
like the Quakers' Fairmount. Partook of refresh- 
ments and were trundled home in the same style 
we visited the ship in; only the Colonel and pri- 
vates of the Hollow Guards seemed tolerably 
*' how come j^ou so. " Arrived at our hotel and 
were received with one hundred cheers from the 
populace, two hundred thousand of v/hom lined 
the street in front of our lodgings, on entering 
which I threw myself flat on the floor of our par- 
lour being fairly done over with kindness. Alas, 
for poor little me ! 



20 



t^elt so fatigued when I awoke, I could scarce 
teat breakfast; C. called at nine in a coach, and 
took pa and poor little me to his elegant mansion, 
where we were introduced to his relatives and 
some dozens of the elite of the city, assembled 
there for the express purpose of being honored 
with our acquaintance. 1 thought the N. York 
women bad enough looking; but, by my troth, 
they are angels in comparison to the Philadel- 
phia females. The latter having extremely dark 
skins, thick lips, flat noses, and most abominable 
large feet and thick ancles, owing, I suppose, to 
the amalgamation system introduced by VVilliam 
Penn. Their dress is somewhat bordering on 
the rediculous : the ladies wearing frocks and 
pantaloons, the former article being so short as 
to scarce reach halfway to the knee. They have 
already introduced my bonnet here, which, worn 
with the dress described, causes them to look 
like fusileers, or sharp shooters. The men wear 
drab breeches, half-moon coats, and broad-brim 
hats, and are about as boorish in their manners as 
the ladies are awkward in theirs. After parta- 
king of a handsome eolation, C accompained us 
to the Lyceum Theatre, where we are to play to 
night: pa as Romeo, poor little me as Juliet. — 
The Lyceum is the largest and most fashionable 
Theatre in the city, situate in South below Eighth 
street. It is built ot white granite, the basement 
being occupied as an extensive livery stable, 
where my intended keeps his valuable stud of 
horses. (I am told he is a great jockey,) — The 
eutrance is through a splendid saloon, occupied 



21 

as a bar room, and the stage and audience de- 
partment is at least forty feet from the ground. — ' 
The stock company, I think, is bettei- than they 
have at the Park. There is a little Theatre in a 
narrow lane called Chesnut street, owned by 
Heyvvood, Sprat, & Higginbottom, where they 
play tragedy, comedy, and farce by means of 
automatons. They have also what they call the 
American Theatre, fitted up in a large shed, cor- 
ner of Eighteenth and Walnut streets, where, I 
am told, the Yankees sometimes play tolerably 
decent. That an American should play v/ell is 
truly astonishing, as they are mostly destitute 
of education. The University, in this place, 
resembles a prison, and what few students 
attend it spend the greater part of their time in 
playing marbles in the lot adjoining it. The 
teachers are all Frenchmen, or Dutchmen, hence 
the cause o^ their speaking such intolerable En- 
glish. Went home, took a julip, and stitched 
away like the very devil till dinnertime; after 
dinner took a nap — woke at five, put out my 
toggery, pottered about till tea time, swallowed 
a julip, and set off to astonish tljo natives, which 
I did to all creation, judging from the deafening 
shouts of applause v/liich shook the building, 
though 1 knew 1 Vv^as wilfully murdering poor 
Juliet, but they perceived it not, my worst acting 
being very far superior to the best they had ever 
before seen. Did not like to see pa pay so much 
attention to the supernumerary girls, some of 
Avhom are very pretty; told him of it when we 
got home, he said I was a fool, and ought to re- 
verence him more than to be prying into every 



2^ 

thing- he done ; thought he was just like all other 
men, and prayed he might be kept out of tem- 
tation. 



Arose, dressed, and aftier taking my julip took 
a walk solus. Saw the bakers delivering their 
bread out of carts that had been used the day 
before for carrying dirt; the milkmaids' pails 
looked more like English slop buckets than any 
thing I can compare them to. I was up this 
morning at least two hours before the generality 
of decent housekeepers arise. X was lucky how- 
ever in finding a hackney coach, which odly 
enough had painted on its side in large letters — 
** Furniture Carriage." Not wishing to converse 
with the driver I received his assistance, jump'd 
in, and ordered him to drive me to the Fish Mar- 
ket. As soon as we arrived there the greatest 
scene occurred I ever witnessed.- — The fish wo- 
men set up such a hurrahing for Fanny Thimble 
that really some of the newly caught fish were 
brought to life, and releasing themselves from the 
gold bedizzened baskets of their owners, sprang 
once more into their native element. 7'he fish 
mongers were as bad as the fish, for they jump'd 
up till two or three of them fell down dead — 

** Dead as herrings. 
Herrings that are red," 

from having split their skulls against the market 
roof, which is not more than fifty feet high.— 



23 

Without any ceremony they tied a kerchief full 
of paving stones to the feet of each corse, and 
flung them into the Delaware, singing some wild 
dirge, the burthen of which was — 

Your bodies are gone 

To the land of the leal. 
They'll be fed upon. 

By catfish aud eel. 

Like the nigger in Lunnun, 

Who fell in the beer, 
Though husbands are undone. 

Such flesh will sell dear. 

No more with your fingers. 

You'll tear off the skin. 
While life warmly lingers- 

The cat-fish within. 

They've got you, '"tis plain. 

Yet .don't think it hard. 
We'll see your sweet flesh again 

Fried in hogs' lard. 

I would fain have made my escape, but two 
stout wenches held the reins of the horses un- 
til they had filled the wagon, coach, or car, up 
to my middle, — my feet and legs were literally 
imbedded with all kinds of fish, from a minnow 
to a sturgeon. They then brought a large bowl 
of whiskey punch, of which they made me par- 
take freely, and then with one hundred and a 
half cheers let me depart for my hotel. Mr. 
Foot, on hearing of the compliment, said he 
would repay me for my spoiled dress, and have 
me thoroughly scrubbed from the smell of the 
fish if 1 would give him the load, I accepted 



24 

the offer, and have just reached my chamber af- 
ter one of the most brutal scrubbings dear little 
me ever had ; by my troth, I don't believe there's 
a bit of skin on my body, — as Dennis Bulgrud- 
dery says, "to the devil I pitch such ticklers of 
girl's flesh." 

Woke up at dawn of day, suffering the most 
excruciating agony from the loss of my skin. — 
Sent for the most eminent physician in the city, 
whose name is Burton. Like all their eminent 
men of talent he belongs to the African race. — 
He ordered me to be soft sponged with sweet 
oil, and to be annointed with Swaim's Panacea, 
a miraculous medicine, which has in many iu«« 
stances made old men young again. Pa put the 
decoction on vv^ith anew white- wash brush, and 
in less than five minutes I was covered with a 
coat of most beautiful skin, free from freckle, 
wrinkle, or any blemish whatever; when my 
love sick Yankee Doodle came to accompany 
us to rehearsal, he scarce knew me, I had altered 
so much for the better. Rehearsed the Hunch- 
back, thought Master Walter paid more atten- 
tion to a dancing girl of about sixteen years old 
than he did about his part, or his poor little me 
either. Felt sorry for dear ma ; but am deter- 
mined to watch him so close, that he will be un- 
able to get into a scrape. Went home, accom- 
panied by C. — Got him to read, in his way, Don 
Juan ; when he came to the part where the lov- 
ers were discovered in the arbour, I sobbed out 
aloud thinking of the dancing girl and dad, who 
had given us the slip on our way to our Hotel, 
admired Byron; how well thy sympathetic soul 
knew how to picture the follies of thine owu 



25 

cumbusticated sex. After dinner went a riding 
with my dear Fierce — he has really won my 
heart, — mounted on one of his Arabian steeds, 
looked, as one of the respectable penny dailies 
declared, like Cleopatra sailing in a whale boat. 
What an exquisite hietaphor! I have made a 
:mera of it, and shall send a copy of the paper to 
ma, in order to have it placed in the British Mu- 
seum. I played better this evening than I did 
on my first appearance. Pa. seemed careless — 
looked as if he was about being made drunk, and 
I wished the little dancing devil H— gins, was 
being roasted **down below !" After the play, 
went home, pa went to bed, said he had the 
headache, and 1 and Fierce determined, sa7is re- 
gard to gentility, to enjoy an hour or two of the 
full moon hght on the 

"Banks of the Schuylkill so pleasant and gay." 

We wandered to the Callowhill St. Bridge 
the gates of which were thus early shut, and 
though there were a great many more beside 
myself and beau that wished to go across, the 
toll keeper would not come down to open a pas- 
sage for us. His excuse might have been a 
good one— ''his guid wife," he said had the 
cholic, and he was just going to steam her. 
Thinking of an old gypsey song, I suited the 
action to the words, and soon bounded over 
every obstacle. 

" He will neither open bar or lock. 
So I'll jump gate though I tear my frock, 
Tweedle dum dee, 
Tweedle dum dee, 
Alas, and I toie both my gown and smock." 



26 

" Most prophetic quotation," said Fierce, when 
he had huddled himself over, '* you have tore 
your (Iress to the very skin, and about three feet 
length will give you an idea of the upward slit 
the latch of the gate made when you caught on 
it in your descent." '* Never mind," said I, 
*' plenty more where that came from." He 
pinned it, which answered to keep the wind out 
'till we got to the Hotel opposite side of the 
river, where one of the maids stitched it up for 
me, not without many questions as to how 1 got 
my tatters so badly torn. I stopped her mouth 
with a half dollar, and cleared my throat of 
the dust with a long draught of the exquisite 
lime punch they there make. We started to- 
wards JMarket St. Bridge about eleven o'clock; 
but instead of navigating along the banks of the 
stream, we found they were all mud and splat- 
terdockified, and the only nightingales to be 
heard, was the moon- worshiping bull frog, crying 

"Blood an ouns! blood an ouns, an ouns, 
I eat the flesh of all that drowns." 

Listened to their music with great pleasure; 
asked Fierce to sing the Poachers, he tried, but 
by my bridal troth, he could not croak half as 
well as the frogs. On descending the hill 
that leads from the Upper Ferry Road to the 
Bridge over MarketSt , Idiscovered a gentleman 
hand a lady out of a carriage, and both entered 
an Inn. Here we stopped and called for a bowl 
of punch; entered the sitting roonn, where, O, 
shocking, horrid; pa was — Oh, dear! 1 blur 
my writing as I pen down the dark and most 
atrocious deed; — pa, 1 say, leaned over the 



27 

dancing imp in the act of — how shall I express 
it, for my heart wringing sobs and sighs — 
in the act of blowing his nose with one hand, 
whilst he helped the she devil to a glass of Ma- 
deira with the other. 1 screamed, he upset the 
table, looked confounded, I seized the girl, and 
would have torn her to pieces but for one of his 
roseate Romeo smiles, and the recollection of 
the reverence I should feel for my dear, dear, 
sweet, kind papa. 



Pa, speechified the audience last night on the 
occasion of our benefit and poor little me had to 
stand along side of him, whilst he spoke compli- 
ments to the Philadelphia boors he felt were nei- 
ther deserving, or just. Had a thousand dollars 
in the house clear of all expenses; but a thou- 
sand dollars is a mere drop in the bucket to one 
of my standing. At eight having breakfasted on 
stewed tripe and honimony (a kind of horse dish) 
we mounted the studs furnished by my dear C — , 
and accompanied by him took a grand tour thro' 
the principle streets of the city to the admiration 
of thousands who anxiously gazed at the fearless 

riders. Joining C 's carriage, in which was 

our baggage and negroes to take charge of the 
horses when we preferred a ride in the coach, we 
all set off for Baltimore. After getting near 
Darby, my steed having spied a mare in an adja- 
cent fields cocked up his ears, shook his gallant 
sides and before I could say mint julip carried 
me over a fence and left me wallowing in a filthy 
ditch t'other side. I'ierce soon pulled me out; 



28 

hut 1 was in a pretty pickle and smelt for all the 
world like an old sow after a bath in a mud pud- 
dle. 1 walked to the tavern where callinii" for a 
julip and large tub of water I was soon righted 
again both inwardly and outwardly; but am re- 
solved never to ride a stallion again as long as I 
live. They were full tv/o hOur& catching "Arab 
steed " who with the others was given in charge 
of the negroes whose place we took in the carri- 
age and after a cool glass of punch and sprink- 
ling the seats with " eau de cologne" we went 
off at a tine rate for Baltimore. 



^yell here we are safe and sound in the mon- 
umental city. Well may it be called so, as the 
inhabitants look as solemncholiy as if they were 
going to a funeral : fear this place wont put much 
cash in our pockets. The girls wear my bonnet 
here, by Jupiter ; I shall douse the little negligee, 
wear one of a diHerent cut and give the miliners 
another Job of Thimble work, for T verily believe 
if I were to walk the streets in a night cap, the 
ladies would follow the fashion instauter. Went 
with Pa to see the Theatre but before we got 
there, a door suddenly open'd in one of the large 
houses and splash came a big howl of water in 
my face, '* beg pardon ma'am " said the infernal 
slewer that did it, " its lucky water ma'am a child 
was christened in it." Pa threatened to com- 
plain to the police, — she laughed and slammed 
the door to. — So much for liberty and equality. 
I v.'as tearing mad I swear, and pa tried to joke 
lue into a good hunj.our, when just as we arrived 



29 

in sight of the Front street Theatre, down came 
a bucket full of soap suds on his new hat and 
coat. He daram'd, I laughed, and remembering 
his joke about the Cataract of the Ganges, told 
him they were merely rehearsing Monsieur Ton- 
son up stairs, and conceiting he was Tom King 
gave him a ducking. The devil take such a town 
said he; I hope we'll storm it said I ; I'll have 
revenge said pa by gosh, and leaving me at the 
Theatre Hotel he wentotFto prosecute the gen lie 
Iluth that had so bedaubed him. Such is the 
practice of throwing out water fcora high win- 
dows in this city that nearly a hundred, children 
get drowned in a week by the sudden flood (hat 
carries them like a sweeping and devastating tor- 
rent down the gutters, from which the strolling 
pigs root them out and feast luxuriantly on dead 
niggers. The manager came into the Hotel; took 
a julip with him and visited the Theatre, a tol- 
erable large place ; felt unwell and navigated 
my pretty little body home as quick as thought. 



Woke up at eight, went to stitching up a dress 
for Queen Dollalolla, in Tom Thumb. Pa play- 
ed Mr. Noodle. Like our Hotel very much — 
plenty of wild game and oysters on table. After 
breakfast the church bells began ringing, guns 
fired and the mob huzzaed. On enquiring the 
reason was told the governor had come from 
Annapolis to pay us his respects. We were 
soon conducted to the Court-house, where we 
were received with the most humiliating courte- 
sy. Kissing my feet, kneeling, &c. &c., were 



30 

again enacted- The Governor was a tolerably 
good looking fellow, and paid me much atten- 
tion ; said he indeed wished he was a widow- 
er for my sake. Cutler did'nt relish the joke, as 
the Governor is a rich man. After being show- 
ed off for an hour returned to the Hotel with my 
dear C. Pa came home at two, so fuddled he 
could eat no dinner. Dispensed with rehearsal, 
went to the Theatre at five ; the house a perfect 
jam. — Pit, Gallery, Box, running over on to the 
stage ; played amidst a crowd of impertinent 
men and boys. Was ofiered a dram of whiskey 
out ot" a bottle, which I greatly gulped at, and 
pottered with the fellow an hour or two for his 
politeness. ^Vhen the curtain fell, pa staggered 
out to thank them for our warm reception, — 
(wet, he should have said) in Baltimore, and the 
orchestra struck up an old English tune they 
have christened the " Star Spangled Banner." 
Left pa at Theatre ; went home, sang, and spark- 
ed with C. till twelve ; took a wild fowl supper 
with him, swallowed a hovA of punch, and re- 
tired to bed, where the bugs bit through my 
night cap, and actually tore my smock to fritters. 
Bugs, bugs, how can you be so heathenish, as to 
torment the delicate flesh before whose beautiful 
little form lordly man bows down to worship and 
adorify, by calling it divine, angelic, paragonic, 
incomprehensiticationified and perfectly perfecti- 
fied. Hence, vile bugs ! — lay in your holes like 
your namesakes the bug editors, till you can find 
more vulgar carcases to phlebotomise. 



3\ 



Woke up early, dawdled about till breakfast, 
at ten Mr. C. called in his carriage and took 
poor little me solus, to be introduced to one of 
the highest, richest, and most distinguished fam- 
ilies in the city. Pa could'nt go, having the- 
atrical business to transact with D . On ar- 
riving at a large mansion we were shown into 
the most splendid drawing room I had ever seen 
in this country. A beautiful large piano stood 
at one end of the room — directly two young and 
lovely ladies entered, to whom I was introduced 

as the Miss H s'. They took their seats at 

the very extremity of the room from us, and ad- 
•dressing Fierce familiarly said, pa and ma most 
likely would be in in about an hour ; they then 
went to bead-working as unconcerned as if there 
was nobody else in the roqm. I at last asked, 
thinking them bashful on account of my distin- 
guished presence, if they ever played and sung 
as they had such a fine instrument beside them. 
— Without answering me, they arose, retired 
abruptly from the room, and in bounced a ser- 
vant to say our carriage waited us. The devil 
and Doctor Fan stus, says I to Cutler, did you 
bring me here to be insulted? Am I not insul- 
ted as well ? — said he ! But I was in such a 
glow of rage, 1 could not keep my dander down 
and I told their servant to tell them they were a 
couple of impudent, ignorant, ragtag and bobtail 
sluts and hussies, and should be shown up in 
my journal, then jumping into the coach reques- 
ted to be driven home as quick as the devil, for 
I was as hot as Old Sam could be, and if I did 
not get my rage smothered with a julip, I should 



32 

certainly burst and set fire to the town by a 
shower of ejected brimstone blazes of real John 
Bull knock down and drag out anger. We are 
at home. Waiter, the julip- — let it be sweet and 
strong — 'tis here '* and quick as lightening down 
Qny throat it goes' ' I iee\ a little cooler, but by 
the blood of the Thimbles, which has flowed 
through the most distinguished veins since the 
days of Noah, is it not too bad that !, the fairest 
representative the family ever had, should be 
insulted by a couple of ITankee gals. It shant 
be borne; pa shall challenge the father, and 
Tierce the brother, if they have any. Poor 
Cutler, 1 fear I displayed too much of my natural 
temper to him; he may be alarmed lest I show 
more of it when I have him hooked. ]'ll tell 
pa to get writings drawn out to-morrow which he 
shall sign and seal, or no longer be a gallant of 
mine. Be fairly shook when he saw the English 
fire sparkle and flash, like the priming of a forty- 
eight pounder, from my eyes, and no doubt has 
gone home vexed and mortified as well as fright- 
ened. I'll send after him this very minute, 
d — n'd if I don't. — Oh, la! I committed swearing 
— well, it's no sin, only a devilish bad practice. 
Curse Baltimore, I say, I'll wipe the dust from 
my feet when I leave it; — must ring for another 
julip, and take an hour's nap, if the fleas and 
bugs will let rae. 



Dreamt all night of the dreadful insult 1 had re- 
ceived ; cursed the authors of it fifty times in my 
sleep, and if it was not tor the sake of somebody 



33 

rd go right otr tins moment and vvollop the jades 
into a respect for my dignity. Poor pa, he went 
to bed in a high state of fever about the affair, 
and swore by all the ghosts of the Thimbles, the 
Siddons, &c. &c. he'd shoot the d— nd wretches 
if it was not against the law. Ah, waiter, you 
seem to know by instinct when I arise — a letter 
so early, who can it be from ; I'll sip ray julip 
tind then peruse its contents, — best glass 1 have 
drank for a week. Now for the billet deux ; — 
To Miss Fanny Thimble, "miss;" miss eh ; 
what, no respect paid to my name ? '* I had not 
the pleasure of being at home yesterday when 
you were introduced to my daughters." — bless 
my soul, this is no doubt an humble apology for 
their rude treatment; well what else does he 
say ? — ** but not wishing you to remain ignorant 
of the cause of your cool reception I will plainly 
tell you that your presumption in pushing your- 
self among respectable society argues eiuier a 
high degree of ignorance, or the possession of 
a fund of the most unblushing and daring impu- 
dence. Had T or any of my family w^ished 
to see you, like viewing the learned ape, we 
could have had our wish gratified for fifty cents 
at the Theatre. Your whole race, as far as I 
can trace them in theatrical v/orks, have lived 
rather the lives of gypsies than christians, and 
I really believe the ancestor who sold old clothes 
in ragged row was the most respectable among 
your tribe. If a wealthy ignoramus chooses to 
lower the dignity of his family by marrying a 
third rate strolling actress, he must not attempt 
to insult the friends of that family by forcibly 
striving to introduce you into society where you 
are neither desired nor hold claim to its respect 



34 

yours, etc., H /' *****## 

* * * # Clouds burst; thunders roll; light- 
nings flash ; flood gates of the sky open and pour 
down a deluge ; and thou mighty ocean, that rolls 
only a short way ofl^, sweep with thy briny bil- 
lows over the inhabitants of this accursed city, 
and make it an example of the wrath that roust 
sooner or later befal those who dare insult the 
honorable name of Thimble ! Now pa, to shotr 
thee this, and if you dont cowhide him before 
you sleep, may the devil carry him off before 
morning, and scorch his daughters noses black 
and their cheeks saff'ron. Furies! 

Did I command the storm, the thunder or the sea 
I'd be revenged, republican on thee, 



After a pleasant ride of a few hours, reached 
Washington City, where we put up at what they 
call a first rate Hotel, but a more miserable set 
of apartments no poor devil of an Englishwoman 
was ever put in. It was literally overrun by 
members of Congress and their wives, who really 
imagine, by the airs they take, that their husbands 
belong to the House of Parliament. Shortly 
after our arrival we called on the President, and 
was introduced to him in a large and splendidly 
furnished room. He shook hands with us, said 
he hoped we would be pleased with America, 
and turning on his heels quite impolitely, left us 
to talk to a little squab bald headed Dutchman, 
who actually smelt of sour crout. This man, we 
were told by the gentleman waiter, was Martin 
Van Buren, a candidate for President himself, 
when Jackson goes out. 1 hope he will learn 
politeness before he is elected, or the people will 



86 

be ruled by a boor. Was offered wine and 
cake and told this was the President's busiest 
day. Swallowed the champaign, and proceeded 
to view the city, which I pronounce the ugliest 
place in the world, and its inhabitants, in winter 
time, half savage and half civilized. They send 
a learned baboon from the west to a seat in Con- 
gress, and have christened it Davy Crockett. 
The lazy bell tolled to dinner, and into the din- 
ing-room we pottered, pretty hungry and dry. 
As we took our seats, the ladies on each side of 
the table, rose, as I thought, in respect to me; 
when, O ! warriors and shades of despair, judge 
my surprise, when the landlord told us the other 
females refused to dine with me or pa, but we 
could eat in a short time with the servants. 
*' Servants," said pa, I'd have you know I am as 
high born and proud as your shabby looking 
Congressmen that grin around. "No noise," 
said he of the Inn. **Turn him out at once, and 
his strolling daughter," cried some one at the 
end of the room ; and before you could say tipety 
witchet, out of doors we were huddled, Cutler 
and all, and had to seek quarters in a little beer 
house at the other end of the town. The women 
are jealous of my charms — they envy me my 
dear Cutler, who can't easily cut me, having 
bound himself in writing to marry me. Ten 
thousand devils and Yankee furies have been 
let loose against me in the shape of woman's 
tongue. A gross conspiracy is raised against 
me; but if Fanny Thimble don't cut them to the 
quick before she becomes a Cutler, then she'll 
cut stick across the water and cut what capers 
she pleases in her Journal. I'll punish them, 
damme. 



3G L } 



Vh^Inll . ^^^ ^^T^'^^PP^^ ""^^^ Baltimore, and arrived u 
Ihiladelphia yesterday; went to Cutler's own house and 
ook up our residence. Pa has sold my Journal for twent 
thousand dollars! To-morrow I go to Christ Church and 
give myself away to my dear, sili;, rich and loving Fihhce 
CuTLEK, whose wealth will enable me to cutadashjeadthe 
vi^i Zf h ^ /^'' 'T-^ ^"^ ^'^'''^ would-be-quality that 
fo h. <^h "^1 f ""^ '^"""J ^^^ P°^* ^'^« ^^-it^^ the hymns" 
tor the church has composed a chaunt; it is to be sung in full 
choir after the wedding ■ " o ^" *"^* 

Dear, sweet, smiling Fanny, now don't be afraid, 
To thl^.'h.*'/ "\^'"™/. «"d learn wedlock's trade; 
X o the soft bed of love dear, go hie thee away 
ro kiss, and drink julip till beams a new day. 

To-morrow, pa, dear, dear, pa sails for England. If he 
persuades King Billy to declare war against the Yankee 
Doodles, he s going to send a frigate for us. Heigho! how 
time flies tis night, the rooms are full of horse jockies, and 
merchants, quiU drivers and the devil knows what, enioyinc 
iny farewell maiden party. Went down, swallowed s xteea 
glasses o punch ofl' hand; listened to "the bonny christ 
church bells ringing joyful peals for my wedding eve. Sat 
on C. s lap, whilst pa went through a jig with aS old maid 
Quakeress, lierce, a little "how come you so," hope he'll 
keep sober to-morrow night. Huzza, pa and the quakeress 
are both floored,— punch too strong for the understanding — 
Fierce and I stole out slyly ; popped into one of the theatres, 
■when, by all that s fiendish some fellows set up a hiss and 
cried " turn 'em out turn out the impudent authoress o'f the 
blackguard Journal.'; Fierce and I flew, and endeavoring ta 
make our retreat, neither being very sober, we tumbled one 
over the other down the box stairs.— Got out, called a coach 
and reached home ; found visitors drunk as the devil —pa and 
C. T»'ere put to bed; I stuck it out till all retired, when 1 drank 
curses on all that is American. By the Gods, 'tis well [ have 
most ended, as I feel my head reeling like the very devil — 
I'll lay on the carpet as I'm a maid ! * 



Farewell, farewell my Journal grand 
May YOU meet with a great demand. 
And buyers weep that poor Utile me, 
J?houId thus so devilish tipscy be, 
On the night before, I'm to be a bride, 
And evermore in my own coach ride, 
Tiddery I, de eh, de oh. 
FINIS. 



